Last week I wrote about the reality after taking a mental health break.
I sounded so confident didn’t I? I wasn’t really okay. I was faking it.
And the truth is, I never recovered from that break. I haven’t been back to the gym. I haven’t been watching what I’m eating.
My mental and emotional health just stalled. I was already in a place where I was feeling down for mostly unknown reasons. When stress was added to my life because of a sick pet who ended up having unexpected surgery, I just let everything go. It was easy to use the stress as an excuse and a crutch.
Yesterday’s challenge in my Fitbit group was about emotions and how they affect our habits.
What emotion is your hardest one to control?
Does depression count as an emotion? Because that’s what causes me the most struggles.
What triggers this emotion the strongest?
Who knows?! I wish I knew, because then I could prevent it. Or at least curb it.
What plan can you have in place to make sure you have healthy options when this emotion hits?
I don’t know. Honestly. I have plans in place to choose healthy options when I’m in a good place mentally. But when I’m not in a good place mentally, I just don’t *care*. I become completely apathetic to my goals and progress (which is where I’ve been for the last week and a half).
Depression is a bastard. Apathy is a bitch.
I need to find a way to fight them. I end up unhappier when I’m in this state. Not only is the depression bringing me down, but I feel bad physically because of the toll the apathy takes on me.
Starting Weight: 233.6
Last Weigh-in: 222.6
Current Weight: 222.7
That’s a total gain of 3 pounds in the last two weeks.
I didn’t even bother to take my measurements this morning. They won’t be down, and some will most certainly be up.
Last week I wasn’t consciously trying to fake it til I make it – but this week I am.
I *will* be at the gym tonight.
My meals for today are all planned out already.
I will get through this.