I’ve been going back and forth over and over again about whether or not I should make this post now. I’m afraid of the reactions – the judgement – that is sure to come.
But at the end of the day, I have to be true to who I am. And let’s face it – I’ve never been one to shy away from oversharing on the internet.
This blog has, so far, documented some of my struggles with losing weight. My “year of the gym” is documented here. My exploration of 21 Day Fix is here. I tried Strong Lifts and wrote about it. What’s not documented here are the years prior to that where I tried Atkins, the Cabbage Soup Diet, Weight Watchers, Nutri-System, etc. You name it and I’ve tried it. And I’ve never been successful. The most I’ve ever lost in my life is 20 pounds, and then I always gain it back…with a little extra for good measure.
Last year, I found a new doctor who would prescribe weight loss medication. She had one condition though – I had to go to therapy to talk about my issues with food and body image (yep – wrote about that too, here and here). I’d always been opposed to therapy because I thought I should have been strong enough to fix myself. But I learned that wasn’t true – I didn’t need fixing, I just needed more tools and resources to work through my issues.
The weight loss medication didn’t work, by the way. My insurance wouldn’t approve a refill because I didn’t lose enough weight on it.
And now I’m in a place where I want my outsides to match my insides. I finally got a handle on my mental health. I asked for help, and I was given the tools I needed. So why not ask for help with this too?
I am having weight loss surgery this summer.
A few years ago, I never would have considered doing this. I thought it was the easy way out, and I should be able to lose the weight on my own through diet and exercise. But I learned that it’s okay to ask for help. And WLS is not an easy fix. It’s a tool to help me reach my goals.
So. Here I am. Starting a new journey to change my life, and choosing to share that journey with you.