I didn’t have my stats right in front of me – but let me add…
I’VE LOST 8 INCHES AROUND BOTH MY WAIST AND HIPS!
Total Lost Since Surgery: 54.6
Total Lost: 65.6
Total inches lost: 42
Today is 17 weeks post-op (my surgery was on a Wednesday), but my official 4-month Surgiversary is on Saturday the 15th.
HAPPY 4 MONTH SURGIVERSARY TO ME!
And I just have to say – man, is my body changing! Have you ever looked at one of your body parts and just thought “that’s not mine!” ? It happens to me a lot now. I look at my knees, or thighs, or arms, or neck and just freak out because this isn’t the body I’ve had for the last umpteen years.
And it’s GLORIOUS.
I’m down from a size 22 in jeans to a size 16. My TC leggings from LulaRoe are too big. I can wear normal boots and they actually zip over my calves. THIS IS NOT MY BODY.
And yet, it is.
I have become someone who is in control of her life. I make choices that are the best ones for me and not just because I’m reacting to life around me.
I still see a lot of problem areas, but I’m working on those. After two weeks off, I was back in the studio to work out last night (oh my booty is so sore today!).
One of these days I’m going to have an actual waist, but my belly needs to join the party first. Everything is going down fairly proportionally, which means my belly is still the biggest thing about me. I hate it. I feel like I still look pregnant sometimes (I don’t, but my brain doesn’t always believe that). But if I keep on keeping on, it will go down too.
BUT I HAVE A NECK Y’ALL.
Total Lost Since Surgery: 46.9
Total Lost: 57.9
Total inches lost: 34.75
As I continue down this road towards a happy and healthier me, I am constantly amazed at how often I *am* happy. I spent so many years living in the dark that I forgot what it feels like to live in the light. And this year? This year is all about kicking the dark’s ass.
I am less than two pounds away from being under 200 pounds. This has had such a tremendous effect on, not only my physical wellbeing, but my mental wellbeing too. I am able to do things that were previously filed under “can’t” (example: I’m excited about the prospect of going to the fair this year because I have no concerns at all about being able to fit on a ride). I’m starting to be in a place where I can feel “normal” instead of “other”. I bought two new pairs of boots this year, and neither were wide calf. That may seem like a negligible thing to most people, but for those of us who have lived “fat” it’s a really big deal.
I had my 3-month post-op appointment this week (yes, a few weeks late) and I have finally been cleared for all foods. This means I can eat steak again! What it also means is that without a specific food plan to restrict what I eat, I am wholly responsible for making good choices. Of course, I was wholly responsible before – but I had a written guide for what was allowed and what wasn’t. Technically, I have no restrictions now – but that doesn’t mean I can eat cake and pasta every day. Or even every week. It’s now my responsibility to implement this full lifestyle change and keep on track. And I’m really excited about proving to myself that I can continue to do this.
In other news, I bought a new car this week! New me, new car! I’m a little bit in love with it, and kind of never want to get out of it. It’s a 2016 Toyota Prius Three. Isn’t she beautiful? (I haven’t named her yet though).
So yeah. Life is good.
Total Lost Since Surgery: 42.4
Total Lost: 53.5
Whoops. I kind of forgot to post updates over here! It’s been a few weeks, but everything is good. I had a few rough spells, particularly in the form of back pain, but I’ve turned a corner on that and everything seems to be mending as it should be. I’ve added some items into my self-care regimen (primarily epsom salt baths, muscle relaxers, and massages) that have really been helping.
In other news, I weigh 206 pounds.
TWO. HUNDRED. AND. SIX. POUNDS.
That means I am only seven pounds away from onederland!
I haven’t weighed this much (this LESS) since college. At least, I assume that’s when I was last this weight. I didn’t get on a scale for about a decade there. The last weight I can remember being in high school is 180, and then when I went to college I just ballooned up and up and up and never stopped until I hit 255 earlier this year. So it seems reasonable to me that this weight probably occurred in college, somewhere in my freshman or sophomore years.
You guys, that was FIFTEEN YEARS AGO. I am currently the lowest weight I’ve been in OVER A DECADE.
That’s just completely unfathomable to me! And completely awesome.
My 3-month surgiversary came and went last week. I pretty much forgot all about it. So there’s no photo comparisons or anything. But I feel like I’m still rocking this whole thing. I’m almost to the 50 pound lost milestone. Less than 2 pounds to go! I had hoped to lose 12 pounds this month so I would be under 200 when I go to my 3-month check up next week. Thanks to stalls, I won’t hit that goal, but I should at least hit the 50 lost milestone. And I’m happy with that. That’s an average of almost 3 pounds per week! Slow and steady wins the race, right?
Another awesome side effect of this loss? I WEAR DRESSES NOW. You guys just don’t understand how huge this is (I know, I talked about this in my last post – but it’s HUGE)! I’ve always loved dresses. I’ve got a wishlist full of them as “goal clothes”. I never felt comfortable wearing them before. I always felt like I looked pregnant and just couldn’t be comfortable in my own skin. Now? I AM OBSESSED WITH DRESSES. And it’s amazing.
If I’m being honest, the truth is that I’m struggling today. I look in the mirror and I see myself as being fatter than ever – almost as if I’ve been blown up like a balloon. I’m not currently making the progress I had hoped to be making this month. And I just generally feel very sad – for no good reason at all. I could break down in tears at the slightest provocation (in fact, I did this morning when I was getting dressed).
So in this post today, I want to take the opportunity to purposefully choose to highlight things that I know show my progress, even though I can’t feel that progress in my soul right now.
Fakin’ it til I make it.
I’ve just gotta keep on keeping on. I am not failing. I have made TONS of progress. And even on days I can’t see it or feel it, I know it’s there…like the wind (oh god, that’s perilously close to that one line from A Walk to Remember…).
And now I’m going to leave you with some (slightly edited) lyrics to a Meghan Trainor song I only recently discovered…